Billy Corgan (billycorgan) wrote,
Billy Corgan

Mother Mary saved my life. No, this is not a typographical error, so I will say it again just to be sure...Mother Mary saved my life. That is why the Zwan album was titled Mary, Star of the Sea. I was asked the question many times during interviews about how the album came to be named, and I only partially answered the question. What I usually said, which 'was' true, is that when zwan was rehearsing in key west, florida during the winter of 2001, I used to go and hang out at this church called Mary Star of the Sea. What I didn't say is that off to the side was a grotto of the Virgin Mary that I used to go and pray at to find some clarity and solace. I asked Mother Mary there to help me change the direction of my life, my negative attitudes, and to heal my broken heart. I promised Mary that in tribute to her, I would name the album in her honor, and thereby honor the place when I found comfort in hours of need. Now, some may scoff at the notion that Mary, the mother of! Jesus, saved my life, or changed my life at all. Anyone could opine that it is all in my mind. So let me say this. I have received probably 2,000 letters in the last 12 years where strangers have told me that I saved their lives. Many have said that at the time they were writing the letter, they had recently been contemplating suicide, and that my music had helped them to find the courage to not do such a horrible thing. Other letters would be about whether the person could find the strength to get out of bed, to face another day of their often unhappy life. They would say that a particular lyric, or something I had said in an interview, had reminded them of their own dreams. Now did I actually come into their room? Did I hold their hand to keep them from jumping out a window, or from cutting their arms, or from throwing up their dinner so they wouldn't gain weight, or keep them from taking drugs? The answer is no, I didn't. I was not there for them like their parents, or h!usband, or wife, or best friend. But I did help save their life.
Tags: blue entry, god, zwan

  • Following the Moon (1974)

    On a particular cool night, I am making my usual trek to the liquor store to buy my step-mother cigarettes…she has given me a $20 bill, which to my 7…

  • Ticking Time Bomb

    A memory: I am in a fabric store with my father and brother…I’m around 6, he’s around 4 years old…my father is taking forever, and my brother is…

  • A Declaration of Independence

    The first time I ever witness nakedness on a woman is with my step-mother: my brother and I are fighting downstairs, while my father and my…

  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded